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Supporting your spouse

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I have a lot of mom friends who have been telling me how they make their husbands get up in the middle of the night with them with baby. DESPITE the fact that he has to get up in the morning and go to work. Its been weighing on me because we as woman want to be treated equally but yet we are expecting so much more from them when we expect this.

I do not make my husband get up with the baby in the night, that is my job as it is his to pay the entire mortgage and bills and put food on the table while I get to stay home and snuggle this cute little amazing peace of life. My husband and I laugh a lot. that is my favorite thing about our relationship. He is so fun and funny even when he is being ridiculous.  I can not expect our relationship to flourish if we are both sleep deprived and miserable just because I made him get up with me.

Some advice ladies, LET him sleep. let him come home happy and excited to see you guys not exhausted and cranky because not only did he not get enough sleep last night he had a crappy day and had to stay late because he was lagging all day.  Also PRAY for him all day! While you fold laundry, while you feed the baby, while you bath baby, while you make dinner. This will improve your marriage so much. Studies show that when we pray for our spouse our attitude changes we become more patient, more loving and more understanding. This then reflex how they respond to us.

Let me tell you when I was pregnant my husband was like I am not changing any diapers that is just gross.  Guess who changes all the diapers when he is home. He does, I believe that two things happened in his heart 1. He wants to give me a break from for a few minutes and 2. He isn’t forced into it. I never say you HAVE to do this. I say can you help me with this.

Mens brains are wired different from ours we don’t need to read any study to know that, that is true. I found rephrasing things makes a huge difference in his responds to me. Saying can you reload the dishwasher so I can reload it makes a difference just like saying babe can you take the baby for an hour so I can have some time to my self I am really needing some me time. Sometimes a small explanation instead of an explosion makes a bigger difference. I know my husband specifically if my voice reaches a certain octave all the sudden he has to run back to the office because there is something he forgot to do. I know this is because he hates confrontation so instead of taking out my frustration on him I ask for help before I get to the point where I need to lash out.

These things all make going to bed to much sweeter. As I put the baby to sleep he reads to me and or we talk about our days before falling asleep. Instead of being so annoyed with each other and going to bed at different times or just not speaking to each other.

Supporting your spouse is so much more than agreeing with them in public, its making them feel good when they come home and knowing you are their partner that you will always love them. Our actions can sometimes speak louder than  words.

 

Postnatal work out.

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I just recently did my first postnatal step class. Let me tell you the light yoga I had been doing did nothing to prepare me for the world of hurt I was about to be feeling. I lasted about 20 minutes into this class before I wanted to die. Luckily the day before my husband had said to me. Do what you can do, its going to take time to get back to where you were before you had the baby.  I just kept repeating this to myself.

I am a pretty competitive person so having to slow down and take my time to catch my breath was hard, it was a huge blow to my ego. I had to take some time that day to remind my self that it took me 4 years of training to get to where I was before the baby.

Remember to listen to your body and take a break if you need it. If you are breastfeeding make sure you drink 3 times the amount of water you did after a work out before baby. They need it as much as we do.

Here are a few things you can do to prep yourself before a big work out. (start with weights 5lb-10lbs depending on what works for you)

  • Drink 24oz of water before you start and after you finish
  • 10 shoulder presses
  • 10 bent over rows
  • 10 skull crushers ‘
  • 10 weighted twists
  • 10 squats
  • 10 burpees
  • 10 lunges each leg
  • repeat three times
  • Do not forget to spend extra time stretching to help with muscle soreness.

I use Doterra DEEP BLUE for my muscle soreness its a game changer! Also for legs I make my self a roller 10 drops lavender, 10 drops frankincense, 5 drops deep blue top it off with FCO.  The lavender helps with swelling and inflammation, the Frank repairs your cells and deep blue heals the muscle.

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5 weeks Postpartum

I am coming up on my 5 weeks postpartum, when I was pregnant I was honestly terrified of what this actually meant. I would have a human I was totally and completely responsible for keeping a live. I wasn’t afraid of child birth or the pain of pregnancy (Which my pregnancy was awful and very painful all the time). But more than every decision I made every choice on her behalf would effect her greatly.

Not to mention I read so much about the hormone imbalance after child birth causing great depression. Keeping this in mind I was very concerned I wasn’t acting in her best interest. That extra hour of sleep was it because I didn’t sleep well that night or am I depressed from my hormones. TAKE THAT EXTRA HOUR OR FIVE! Learning your baby is hard work. This was my struggle back and fourth. I finally had to just cut my self a break. I just had a baby after 10 months of growing this baby which was hard enough and then my fast delivery which was very hard on my body. Almost 2 hours of stitching hard.

This whole mommy shaming thing had really gotten into my head and I had trouble shaking it. I am an over achiever I am good at everything I put my mind to.  However you can not rush postpartum recovery. I had two full weeks of recovery because things didn’t go as smooth as Id hoped during my delivery. I felt so defeated because I had watched other moms up and working out almost right out of the hospital. I thought if they could why couldn’t I? Two things are wrong with that mind set. A. Our deliveries were not at all the same. B. WHO CARES we/I put so much pressure on our selves to be better and to be the best! Instead just be YOU! Do what makes you happy what works for you. How can you expect to take care of this beautiful life if you aren’t happy and how can you be happy with so much expectation and pressure.

Just remember you have to take care of your self before you can properly take care of your beautiful baby.  Go for coffee with friends lay in bed for a few hours watch some Netflix read a book.  Take a nice long well deserved bath!

 

Pregnancy: When the fear sets in

 

I bet you’ve been asked a million times if you are afraid or nervous for delivery or becoming a parent and if you are anything like me, (tough and stubborn) you would have been like nah I got this! So what do you do when the fear of labor and delivery sets in? It might not be the pain or the experience you are fearing but the fact that you will now be responsible for a life. Someone so tiny and fragile. Every decision you will make will effect them in a profound way.

How do we know that the ideas of parenting we have been focusing on will in fact not screw up your child? Because isn’t this really just an experiment? Do any of us really know what works and what will or won’t scar them for life? We don’t!! There is a joke in our family that mom and dad were practicing on the older siblings until they got it right with my youngest brother. I feel like there is some truth to this haha.

I’ve never been afraid of physical pain but more heart ache. Losing a loved one, someone hurting because of me. So I am not afraid of labor and delivery but more of what if I do something to hurt my baby, lift something too heavy, slip and fall. Eat something that makes her sick. What if during labor I hurt her because I didn’t know exactly what to do.  How do we avoid these fears? We can’t , but we can be more prepared. I would like to tell you to ask your doctor what to expect but in some clinics you are just a number and they want you in and out as quickly as possible, which is sooooooooo frustrating as a hormonal forgetful pregnant woman!! I am constantly forgetting my questions and feeling rushed which makes me anxious and a little mad. Try this!!

Write down your questions for your doctor. Ask them about accurate literature that you can reference. (STAY OFF OF GOOGLE)

Get connected to your health center, they usually have a maternity nurse on staff that will sit with you and help you navigate all the info you might be drowning in.

Get connected to an expectant mothers group on either social media or in real time. Being around other like minded people helps you feel more normal when your hormones are telling you, you are a psycho.

Be careful what pregnancy books you read, I accidentally read all the wrong books. All the things that can go wrong. I was terrified of moving in the beginning of my pregnancy because I read about all the terrible things that can happen 1/1,000,000 things!

Lean on your friends and family who have done this before. Some people are afraid of giving unwanted advice so be direct with your questions don’t expect people to tell you.  ASK the hard stuff, the gross stuff, I feel like I was super lucky this way my girl friends all had so much information for me. Even the weird stuff haha.

But mostly just know that we won’t ever get it perfect but that is what makes us who we are! The mistakes we make teach us and help us grow.

Books I loved and would recommend, that are more information less what could go wrong.

Healthy Beginnings -The society of obstetricians and gynecologists

Nurture- Erica Chidi Cohen

Essential oils for Pregnancy, Birth and Babies- Stephanie Fritz LM,CPM ( The Essential Midwife)

 

 

What pregnancy really feels like…

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It’s been a while since I wanted to write anything awesome. I wanted to write this blog post about what it actually feels like for some women to be pregnant.  When my husband and I first decided to start a family all my friends and family said it’s amazing and wonderful. The honest truth for me is that it has been absolutely terrible. Constant discomfort and exhaustion, wondering if every little pain is something you did to hurt your baby. Horrible mood swing that actually make you want to cause physical pain to someone who made you angry. So for everyone who has never been pregnant and can’t understand why she is moody or doesn’t want to hang out. Keep reading she could use your support.

1. Food aversions -When we first found out I was pregnant I had so many aspirations about how I would eat and how healthy this pregnancy would be. My body had another idea, I could not even smell meat for the first 4 months without major nausea and disgust. The doctor said it was okay your body stores up nutrients from before you conceived but the fear your baby is starving because all you can eat is mini oranges and peanut butter toast is extremely overwhelming.  Try going to a friends for dinner and spending the whole time in the bathroom vomiting from the smell of what you know would have been an incredible meal.

2. Exhaustion and Nausea- I really thought I would be one of those gym women, work out through my entire pregnancy because I was so fit before getting pregnant, well again my body had another idea. I could not get out of bed some days I was so tired I couldn’t even go down the stairs. When I had my second doctors apt I broke down completely depressed because I felt like my life was passing me by laying in bed all day hardly even able to read a book because any sudden movements would make my nausea go into insane overdrive. Have you ever had nausea for 7 straight days no break, constant pain and when you were not nauseated you were hungry but all food made you vomit. Its literally torture the only reason we make it through is knowing we get to cuddle this beautiful perfect person we created at the end of it all.

3. Irrational Mood swings- I am the opposite of a Crier not that I judge anyone who does but defiantly not my method of expression. Well since becoming pregnant I would cry if the mailman came and left a package slip instead of ringing the doorbell for me to sign. Then you get so angry because you think it’s the most ridiculous reason to be crying. The worst though is just being down right miserable for no reason at all. You hate everything sometimes and there is no cheering you up. We went on vacation for a wedding and I could find zero reason to enjoy any of it. I swear my friends thought I was acting like a crazy person. I also felt like a crazy person. My one saving grace is having the worlds most compassionate and understanding husband.

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I hope these things didn’t scare you into not wanting a family but I feel like if I had fully understood these things it wouldn’t have been such a huge shock to me. Some advice if you are married to a pregnant woman or related to one or friends with one. Their body  is changing ever day, new feelings and new pains. Their body has been invaded by the most high maintenance house guest, almost as bad as when the in laws visit haha kidding… not kidding… So cut her some slack, offer a back rub or even a cup of tea. But mostly just don’t make her feel like she is crazy because trust me she already feels crazy with the serge of crazy hormones running through her body.

 

 

 

Keto Chocolate Pudding

 

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Keto Chocolate Pudding

INGREDIENTS
1/2 c Heavy Whipping Cream
1 1/2 c Almond Milk
1/3 c Cocoa Powder
1/2 c Swerve
3 Egg Yolks
1 tsp. Xanathan Gum
2 tsp. Vanilla
1 tsp. Salt

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Whisk whipping cream, cocoa powder, Swerve, and 1 cup almond milk in saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring to a simmer & remove from heat.
2. In separate bowl whisk together 1/2 c almond milk, egg yolks, xanathan gum, salt, & vanilla. Gradually whisk the hot cocoa milk into the egg mixture. Mix well for about 2 min.
3. Return combined mixture to saucepan and cook over medium-high heat. Whisk constantly until mixture comes to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer and continue whisking for another 2 min.
4. Pour into container, cover and refrigerate until pudding sets.

Yield 6. Macros per serving – 124 calories, 10 g. fat, 3.5g Net Carbs, 2.4 g protein

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MAPLE PECAN FAT BOMBS

MAPLE PECAN FAT BOMBS

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INGREDIENTS:
2 c pecan halves
1 c almond flour
½ c golden flaxseed meal
½ c unsweetened shredded coconut
½ c coconut oil
¼ c sugar free maple syrup (Here’s a recipe if you want to make it – https://www.ruled.me/thick-sticky-maple-syrup/)
¼ tsp liquid Stevia (~25 drops)

DIRECTIONS:
1. Bake pecans 6-8 minutes at 350F.
2. Remove pecans from oven & put in a plastic bag. Use a rolling pin to crush them.
3. Mix the dry ingredients into a bowl: Almond Flour, Golden Flaxseed Meal, & Coconut.
4. Add pecans & mix together again.
5. Add the Coconut Oil, “Maple Syrup” & Liquid Stevia. Mix together until a crumbly dough is formed.
6. Press into a 11×7 baking dish.
7. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 350F, or until edges are lightly browned.
8. Remove from the oven, allow to partially cool, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour before cutting.

Yield 12 bars. Macros – 298.58 Calories, 29.71g Fats, 2.51g Net Carbs, and 4.74g Protein.

KETO BROCCOLI CHEESE SOUP

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BROCCOLI CHEESE SOUP

INGREDIENTS:

1 c. broccoli
5 oz. cheddar cheese
2 tbsp. butter
1/2 tsp. xanthum gum
1/4 c. onion
1/4 c. celery
1.5 c. chicken broth
1/2 c. heavy whipping cream
salt & pepper

DIRECTIONS

1. Cut broccoli into pieces as small or big as you’d like, and set aside.
2. Add butter, onion, celery, salt & pepper to sauce pan and cook until onion and celery are translucent.
3. Add broccoli and cook for 2-3 minutes or until broccoli is bright green.
4. Add chicken broth and whipping cream – bring to boil.
5. Simmer and slowly add the cheese – mixing as you add.
6. Add xanthum gum until it thickens.
7. Serve warm and enjoy!

Makes 3 servings. MACROS, per serving –
Calories: 412, Fat: 36.7g, Protein: 13g, Net Carbs: 4g.

EASY GREEN CHICKEN ENCHILADA SOUP!

 

 

Slow-Cooker-Chicken-Enchilada-Soup-1EASY GREEN CHICKEN ENCHILADA SOUP!

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup salsa verde (check label for hidden sugars!)
4 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
2 cups bone broth or chicken stock
2 cups cooked chicken, shredded

DIRECTIONS:
Combine the salsa, cream cheese, cheddar cheese and chicken stock in a blender and blend until smooth. (You can also use an immersion blender right in your saucepan for this step.)
Pour into a medium saucepan and cook on medium until hot – don’t bring to a boil. Alternatively, you can heat this in a microwave safe bowl in 1 minute increments until hot, stirring in between each minute.
Add the shredded chicken and cook an additional 3 – 5 minutes until heated through.
Garnish with additional shredded cheddar and chopped cilantro if desired.

Recipe Makes 4 Servings

MACROS
Serving Size: 1 1/2 cups
Calories: 346
Fat: 22g
NET Carbs: 3g
Protein: 32g

Keto Cream Cheese brownies

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KETO CREAM CHEESE BROWNIES

INGREDIENTS
Filling
8 oz cream cheese softened
1 Large egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup powdered Swerve
BROWNIES
2 Large eggs
1/4 c powdered Swerve
6 tbsp butter
2.5 oz unsweetened chocolate
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 c coconut flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 & butter an 8×8 pan.
2. Beat cream cheese until whipped. Mix in egg, vanilla and powdered Swerve until well combined.
3. In a large bowl, beat eggs & stir in powdered Swerve
4. In a small microwave bowl, melt butter & chocolate for 30 sec intervals – stirring -until chocolate is melted.
5. Add vanilla, salt, baking powder & chocolate to the eggs & stir well.
Slowly stir in flour.
6. Once mixed, spread 3/4 of the brownie mix into the prepared pan.
Spoon cream cheese mixture on top.
Spread the rest of the brownie mix on top for marbled look.
Bake 25-30 minutes.

MACROS (yield 9) NET carbs 2g, Protein 4.4g, Fat 18.8g, Calories 210