I have a lot of mom friends who have been telling me how they make their husbands get up in the middle of the night with them with baby. DESPITE the fact that he has to get up in the morning and go to work. Its been weighing on me because we as woman want to be treated equally but yet we are expecting so much more from them when we expect this.
I do not make my husband get up with the baby in the night, that is my job as it is his to pay the entire mortgage and bills and put food on the table while I get to stay home and snuggle this cute little amazing peace of life. My husband and I laugh a lot. that is my favorite thing about our relationship. He is so fun and funny even when he is being ridiculous. I can not expect our relationship to flourish if we are both sleep deprived and miserable just because I made him get up with me.
Some advice ladies, LET him sleep. let him come home happy and excited to see you guys not exhausted and cranky because not only did he not get enough sleep last night he had a crappy day and had to stay late because he was lagging all day. Also PRAY for him all day! While you fold laundry, while you feed the baby, while you bath baby, while you make dinner. This will improve your marriage so much. Studies show that when we pray for our spouse our attitude changes we become more patient, more loving and more understanding. This then reflex how they respond to us.
Let me tell you when I was pregnant my husband was like I am not changing any diapers that is just gross. Guess who changes all the diapers when he is home. He does, I believe that two things happened in his heart 1. He wants to give me a break from for a few minutes and 2. He isn’t forced into it. I never say you HAVE to do this. I say can you help me with this.
Mens brains are wired different from ours we don’t need to read any study to know that, that is true. I found rephrasing things makes a huge difference in his responds to me. Saying can you reload the dishwasher so I can reload it makes a difference just like saying babe can you take the baby for an hour so I can have some time to my self I am really needing some me time. Sometimes a small explanation instead of an explosion makes a bigger difference. I know my husband specifically if my voice reaches a certain octave all the sudden he has to run back to the office because there is something he forgot to do. I know this is because he hates confrontation so instead of taking out my frustration on him I ask for help before I get to the point where I need to lash out.
These things all make going to bed to much sweeter. As I put the baby to sleep he reads to me and or we talk about our days before falling asleep. Instead of being so annoyed with each other and going to bed at different times or just not speaking to each other.
Supporting your spouse is so much more than agreeing with them in public, its making them feel good when they come home and knowing you are their partner that you will always love them. Our actions can sometimes speak louder than words.